David Stern: Welcome to the Bleachermob Annual Mock Draft. The Toronto Raptors and Bryan "Jodystone" Coangelo are on the clock.

Colangelo: We select, Tyrus Thomas, David. In terms of physical attributes, few players in the NBA right now can match Thomas’ combination of length and athletic ability. Not only does he have more than a 40-inch vertical leap, run the floor like a guard and explode off the hardwood.
And he can create on the offensive end. Thomas’ strengths are defense and rebounding. Thomas is dynamite in the open court. Against weaker opponents he has shown some signs of raw footwork in the post, along with a mid-range jump-shot and a little jump-hook.

Isaiah Thomas:with the 2nd pick of the 1989 NFL draft ...

David Stern: Isaiah....

Isaiah Thomas: the Detroit Pistons select..

David Stern: Isaiah...

Isaiah Thomas: Anna Kournikova... we believe he has tremendous upside in...

David Stern: Isaiah!! Do you have any idea whats going on?

Isaiah Thomas: Sorry I forgot my pills...

David Stern: Just leave.Hrm.
With the 2nd pick of the 2006 NBA Draft the Chicago Bulls select Lamarcus Aldridge out of Texas.

Jim Paxon: We felt like drafting Lamarcus was our most sensible option from the start. As evident from our series against Miami, we needed an offensive interior presence, and Lamarcus is the best prospect in this draft in those terms. Thanks Isaiah!

Bernie Bickerstaff - << Calls up MJ >> - Any preferences on who we should take Michael?

MJ - Is there an unproven high school prospect that we can take? There's gotta be one we can take at #3!

BB - Umm..we can't do that anymore..age limit..

MJ - That's too bad. Left the game and look what happened. How about a proven college player who won't be quite so great in the NBA?

BB - Ahh.. you're talking about Adam Morrison, aren't you? Haven't lost it one bit, MJ.

MJ - You know it.

David Stern - With the 3rd pick in the 2006 NBA Draft, the Charlotte Bobcats select Adam Morrison, forward from Gonzaga.

BB - Bobcats aren't really that scary so we thought we would pick a big cry baby. We wanted to pick Rudy Gay, because of his last name, but this guy better fits our needs.

David Stern: With the 4th overall pick in the 2006 NBA Draft the Portland Trailblazers pick Greg Oden out of Lawrence North High School. Wait; didn’t we make a rule against drafting these high school ballers? Stu?

Stu Jackson: Yes we did, and the Blazer organization will be fined $10,000 for attempting to draft a player who is not registered for the draft.

Stern: Where is the Blazers GM?

Paul Allen: Uh, we don’t have one right now Sir.

Stern: Okay, good luck with the rebuilding process, and finding a buyer. Please make another selection SOON the clock is ticking here.

Nate McMillan: See Steve (Patterson) I told you that wouldn’t fly. Pull up our draft board we need to make a selection.

Steve Patterson: I can’t seem to pull it up on the computer, looks like windows crashed again. It says windows has encountered a problem and is asking if we should send Microsoft a report of this error.

Paul Allen: Just hit cancel and reboot. Bill says they never read those things anyways.

Stern: (tapping his foot and pointing at his Movado)

Patterson: Okay I got it; have Zach Randolph run it up to Mr. Stern, Quick!

Nate: He is out street racing and shooting guns with his homies.

Patterson: How about Darius Miles?

Nate: He refused to do it, just give me the envelope. (Nate grabs the envelope and quickly switches it with one in his pocket while delivering it to the stage)

David Stern: With the 4th overall pick in the 2006 draft the Portland Jailblazers, er excuse me, Trailblazers select: Brandon Roy out of the University of Washington.

Media: So Coach what was it that convinced you to pick Brandon Roy?

Nate: He is a Seattle kid and a friend of my sons but more than anything we just thought he was the most well rounded player in the draft. His defense will be vital while playing with two weaker defenders in Martell Webster and Sebastian Telfair.

David Stern: With the fifth selection...

Isiah Thomas: Yeah, we'll take Chris Washburn.

Stern: Ahem, Isiah, give me back that mike. It's not your turn.

Billy Knight: Great, that's all we need. I got enough trouble picking good players without Isiah horning in.

Thomas: But we suck. We should be in this spot.

Knight: Tell me about it.

Stern: Gentlemen, please. With the fifth selection in the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft, the Atlanta Hawks take Andrea Bargnani, a forward with Benetton Treviso in Italy.

Thomas: And you're bagging on me? Who dat?

Knight: Hey, all the mocks have me taking him. You going to argue with computer geeks all over the country?

Stern: Dude's got a point, Billy. You're loaded with young forwards.

Knight: Nice problem to have, eh? Besides, this kid's got moves, he'll grow into that 6-11 frame. We'll let him bulk up and become a Dirk clone. Check us in 2008.

Josh Smith, Marvin Williams and Al Harrington: So, our jobs are safe?

Knight: For now, boys. For now.

Stern: Minnesota Timberwolves? It's your turn...

McHale: Okay, wait.

Howling in the background...

Stern: Wow. The wolf is literally at the door.

McHale: I don't know why they send me up here to do this. I don't know what to do. I mean, all those rumors. What if we trade Garnett? Oh, this is stressful.

Stern: You need to make your selection.

McHale: Oh please. This is so blasted arbitrary. I bet if my name was Mark Cuban you'd let me have...

Stern: That'll be a $10,000 fine, Mr. McHale.

McHale: WTF? I ...

Stern: Make that $25,000.

McHale: DAMN IT! I have never...

Stern: Okay, fine. Now it's up to $50,000. Care to try for Cuban special: $100,000 AND the loss of your draft pick?

McHale: ...

Stern: Well?

McHale: ... Okay, fine. I hate this effing job. First I have to pretend I haven't talked to Geoff Petrie and now this? Life is too short.

Stern: We're waiting. We'll discuss your reference to Mr. Petrie later.

McHale: Oh shit. ...sigh... We're taking 6'9" Shelden Williams from Duke. God, I hope those growth hormones work. He's gonna need to grow at least another 2-3 inches to replace...

Stern: That's quite enough, Mr. McHale. You may leave now.

McHale: (Walking away and mumbling) Yes sir, Mr. Stern. Yes sir, Mr. Petrie. Did I mention I hate this effing job?

Danny Ainge: Ya, you think we need another rookie? We have 4 this year and 3 sophomores, why can't we trade this pick for serviceable vetarans like...Antoine Walker? I think Riley would love this proposal...

Doc Rivers: Sir, it's you who traded him out last summer, now he is one of the members in the Eastern championship team.

Ainge: Really? That lucky &^(*^(*&&^(. How about we renounce the pick? We really have no use with it.

Rivers: That is against the current CBA, sir.

Ainge: Oh really. Then maybe we can trade it to some other GMs like my buddy Isiah Thomas. I really fell in love with that David Lee guy recently you know...

Rivers: No sir. In this virtual Bleacher Mob NBA Draft, you just can't do that.

Ainge: Then what can I do after all.

Rivers: Just select another young kid and we can move on our forever rebuilding plans.

Ainge: Alright, there you go.

David Stern: With the 7th pick of the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft, the Boston Celtics select...Oleksiy Pecherov, from Paris racing of France.

Ainge: The main reason we made him our pick is because I read from some draft fan site that he is a tall euro guy with excellent shooting strokes. We want to duplicate the winning formula of Dallas, and bring Larry the Legend II here. I believe the fans of Boston will love him. Plus, we can put him in France for next few years till he matured and ready for the big game. Master plan! huh?

Stern: Houston has selected JJ Redick.

Morey: We are taking JJ Redick because we believe he will be to TMac and Yao what John Paxson and Steve Kerr were for Jordan and Pippen that deadly shooter from the outside who can hit the shot when TMac or Yao get double teamed.

David Stern: With the 9th overall pick in the 2006 NBA Draft the Golden State Warriors select Rudy Gay out of UConn.

Mullin: This is strictly a marketing related pick...our jersey sales just went up 2000% in the Bay Area.

Sund: Let's go with Cedric Simmons from NC State. I've been impressed with this guy and the Sonics could use a center. We've taken centers the past few years who haven't really done much yet (Swift, Petro). Keep trying I guess..

Daffy Duck comes running to the stage...

Daffy: With the 11th pick in thiss sstupendouss mock draft, the Orlando Magic sselect...

David Stern: What is this! Draft police! Draft police!

Uniformed man: Yes SIR commissioner SIR!

David Stern: Get that animated character off the stage!

Uniformed man: Yes SIR! Right away SIR!

Daffy is being dragged away kicking and screaming

David Stern: Ridiculous. I know this is a mock draft and all but we must maintain the dignity. We can't have Daffy drafting for Orlando. I mean, obviously, he is not a Disney character.

Daffy: Bloody fasscisst!

David Stern: No! I am a bloody NBA comissioner - thats who I am. And as a comissioner I know the only person who can draft for a team is their GM. And that is clearly not Daffy Duck. It is Donald Duck.

Otis Smith: Ummm.... What?

David Stern: Oh. Sorry Otis, didn't they tell you? They fired you and hired Donald. It will do wonders to their attendance and national exposure.

Daffy is heard somewhere from the backstage cursing and fighting with security. Camera catches Bugs Bunny in the audience

Bugs Bunny: DUCK SEASON!!!

Sounds of gunfire and Daffy's screams from the backstage.

Donald Duck: Thank you. With the 11th pick in this draft the Orlando Magic select Ronnie Brewer. He won us over when he said he never eats poultry.

Daisy Duck's voice is heard from the audience

Daisy: And because with Deshawn Stevenson's probable departure the Magic needs a replacement at the SG spot. We could have gone with Foye but with Jameer already here we think our backcourt would be too short and we feel Brewer is more mature, versatile and NBA-ready than Carney. We don't have a pick in the next draft, so it is in our best interest to make the playoffs next year and become more attractive to the 2007 free agents since we will have a ton of capspace waiting for them.

Donald: Ummm... yes... that too...

Rich DeVos (Magic owner): Wow! Donald, you are fired! Daisy you are the new GM!

NBA Commissioner David Stern: With the 12th pick in the 2006 Bleacher Mob NBA Mock Draft, the New Orleans Hornets select ….

Stern opens envelope and stares blankly at the card within.

Stern: Uhhh, ummm, hmmm ……

Hornets GM Jeff Bower: (all smiles) Go ahead, David, read it !!!!

Stern: It says… “Katrina, you BITCH!!!”

Audience grows silent.

Stern: What the hell is this, Jeff?

Bower: I can’t understand, whoever that was is not our pick, David.

Stern: (thinking: how did this guy become a GM?) I realize that, so who slipped me this mickey?

P.J. Brown and several other current Hornet front line players who lost their homes in the wake of Hurricane Katrina step from behind the curtain.

Hornets PF P.J. Brown: It needed to be said. That bitch screwed up our lives.

Plus me and my boys saw who the pick was and knew that it was a mistake.

Bower: Nonsense. The Hornets need a young, athletic, rebounding, shot-blocking presence. We gave up too many points in the paint last year, and that is where our improvement needs to begin. Our pick…MY pick…will help us in this deficient area. It’s our worst area…until now. So beat it, old man, and take those other sissy big guys with you. And why don’t you give some more thought to retirement, eh???

Players storm off the stage.

Hornets Coach Byron Scott: So who’s our pick, Jeff? And why haven’t you told me about it?

Bower grabs a fresh card, scribbles on it, and hands it over to Stern.

Stern: With the 12th pick in the 2006 Bleacher Mob NBA Mock Draft, the New Orleans Hornets select Patrick O’Bryant, 7’-0”, 249-pound center from Bradley University.

Scott: O’Bryant? O’Bryant? I really don’t know, to be honest with you. Obviously, it depends on his development and how quickly he can pick up stuff. That’s offensively and defensively, and how hard he’s willing to work. He could help us two or three years down the line…maybe. But I wanted to pick….

Bower: Gimme a break, Byron. Patrick had a great workout with us, he did superbly in his career at Bradley and in this year’s NCAA tourney. He is, by most accounts, the top center in the draft, and we were lucky he fell this far to us! Deal with having the next greatest center in the NBA. Now c’mon, you need to watch me while I decide on the 15th pick.

Bower and Scott retreat toward their war room. In the meantime, O’Bryant lumbers onto the stage to don a Hornets cap and shake Stern’s hand.

Patrick O’Bryant: I will love playing for this team. It’s an unfortunate event that happened to New Orleans. And this is the best they could do (picking me), and I wish them all the luck. They have really come through a lot of hard times to get up here. But I will give the fans that have experienced so much devastation something to be proud of and, starting next season, we will become a regular face in the NBA playoffs.

Bower: (peeking around the corner of the stage) That’s my boy !!! I love this game !!!

Note: This dialogue includes actual (and somewhat modified) quotes from Bower, Scott, and O'Bryant.

(commotion and what sounds like a folding chair being knocked over, followed by the sound of someone running)

King: Quick! Here's our envelope, before someone changes their mind (glances worriedly over shoulder) Um, you seen Alan? He was right behi..................

Iverson tackles King and both go tumbling to the floor, Stern stares in perplexed amazement.

King: (grunting) um, can you give us just a moment here, Dave?

(whispers urgently at Iverson, while trying to dodge elbows) We got to take this kid, Alan, no way we expected him to be here at this position. He's an excellent one on one player ... has a bag of tricks offensively with crossovers and AND1 type moves ... uses change of direction well to get his defenders off balance ... plays well in an open court game with great speed and body control ... handles the ball effortlessly ... strong finisher capable of taking the ball all the way to the rack in traffic ... he can be you in practice.

Iverson: Practice? We talkin' 'bout PRACTICE? oh wait, does this mean I wouldn't have to practice? Ok then, I'll let you up. But if he gets any minutes, you give him some of Chris'.

King regains his feet and hands a frowing Stern a rather tattered envelope.

King: Um, just ignore that crossed out name there, we, um, changed our mind.

Stern: (sighing) With the 13th pick of the 2006 Bleachermob Mock draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select
Randy Foye 6'3" guard out of VillaNova

Stern:With the 14th pick of NBA Draft Utah Jazz select guard -Marcus Williams out of UConn...

O'Connor: We were watching Marcus Williams for some time and we think he is a very good fit for us and for our offense...

Stern: Last year you had drafted Deron Williams and this year again a guard?

Sloan: Williams will also grow up and with Marcus Williams we will have no trouble at guard positions,with Okur,Boozer and Andre we are real contenders this year....I will have to get the ring before I die..(loughing all over..........)

O'connor: You know that guards need at least 3-4 years to mature and Deron Williams will be ok....And I am very positive with my new pick.....

Stern: Ok before we go to the next pick,I like to say that even with John Stockton and Malone you did not get a ring, how hell will you get now Sloan??????????

Sloan: Hahahahha so funny you are,you will see this year,we are predicting to be west champions to play with Orlando at NBA Finals and sure Okur will drop 50ppg and 25rpg to overcome Hedo's 45 ppg 20 rpg 15 apg.....Okur and Hedo are the best players at NBA,Hedo is even better then Lebron I like to see him in Utah..(Is Sloan From Turkey or so????)

NBA Commissioner David Stern: With the 15th pick in the 2006 Bleacher Mob NBA Mock Draft, the New Orleans Hornets select Rodney Carney, 6’-7”, 204-pound shooting guard/small forward from the University of Memphis.

Hornets Coach Byron Scott: Nice job, Jeff. I love this kid. He’s as athletic as anyone in the draft and had just a superb workout with us.

Hornets GM Jeff Bower: Well, I’m glad this pick meets your approval. Our second greatest need in the draft was to get an athletic, defensive-oriented, strong scorer at the 2 slot opposite Chris Paul. Carney is the real deal and should help us immediately.

Scott: Our backcourt will be unstoppable next year!

Bower: Plus it won’t leak like a sieve on defense like last season. With Carney up top and O’Bryant clogging the middle, I expect a solid defensive team in 06-07.

Scott: No problem, Jeff. Piece of cake.

Carney ascends the stage with his Hornets cap and accepts Stern’s congratulations.

Rodney Carney: Everyone says I’m the best athlete in the draft, but they don’t know that I can shoot as well as I do. I was the leading 3-point shooter in the history of Memphis, but people don’t know that. During the workouts, I showed people what I can do as far as shooting the ball.

Bower: We can’t wait until you show us, kid!

Isaisah Thomas: Hey Jim, got any overpriced aging small forwards to trade?

Jim Paxon: Nope

Isaisah Thomas: Cmon I got the trade itch... How about me-first point guards?

Jim Paxon: All I got is Eric Piatkowski

Isaisah Thomas: 2 first rounders and a trizillion dollars for him?

Jim Paxon: thats not a real number

Isaisah Thomas: fine 3 first rounders and a trizillion

Jim Paxon: Sigh, you need help Isaiah.

Isaisah Thomas: The doc says Im special.....

Jim Paxon: Julius "Dr. J" Erving is not a real doctor...

DS: With the 16th pick of the 2006 NBA Draft the Chicago Bulls select Maurice Ager

Jim Paxon: We believe our team possesses tremendous youth and depth at every position except for shooting guard. Furthermore, at this point of the draft we wanted to draft the best possible talent available. Maurice Ager fits this bill perfectly ,as possible the most offensive-savvy player in the draft. We are very excited to have him in our backcourt.

Indiana Pacers

Larry Bird peeks out from the side curtain, gestures a big "thumbs up" to someone, and disappears.

The sound of laughter and loud talking is heard from behind the curtain.

Finally, we hear Donnie Walsh say, "Hey, Sternie! We got your pick right here!!!"

More frivolity and laughter...

A very stern looking David Stern approaches the podium...

Stern: With the 17th pick of the 2006 Bleachermob Mock Draft, the Indiana Pacers select...

Voice from the back of the hall (sounding suspiciously like Mark Cuban): Bite me, Stern!

Stern: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I have never seen such a mockery of a mock draft. Some of you are acting like this is all a game. I'm really ashamed.

Voice: Bite me twice!!!

Stern: Who said that?! I am so tired of this. You gazillionaires think you can solve anything with money. If that's you, Cuban, you might as well just give me the blank check now.

Voice: So's yo mamma!!

Stern: Fine. We'll settle this later... With the 17th pick of the 2006 Bleachermob Mock Draft, the Indiana Pacers select the 6'1" point guard from Kentucky, Rajon Rondo.

As Stern walks off the stage, the camera focuses on Mark Cuban, who is apparently doing the "I'm a little teapot" dance...

Stern: The Washington Wizards are now on the clock.

(Ernie Grunfeld runs up to Stern out of breath)

Ernie G: I already have our pick sir.

Stern: That was quick, I have to give it up; you are a model representative.

Ernie G: Yeah well we always have to rush now just in case MJ tries to call in our pick and ruin the organization again. WTF? Kwame f’n Brown?

Stern: Well go ahead and do the honors.

Ernie G: Thank you. With the 18th pick in the Bleachermob Mock Draft the Washington Wizards select Chris Webber forward out of Michi…

Stern: Nope you guys let him go.

Ernie G: Oh, you’re right. Ok. The Washington Wizards select Juwan Howard forward out of Michi…

Stern: No Grunfeld you guys let him go too.

Ernie G: Damn it! Ok, ok I got it. The Washington Wizards select Ben Wallace center out of Virginia Uni..

Stern: You’re startin to piss me off here. You guys let him go too. Please be serious.

Ernie G: You know what you’re right. I do need to be serious. We don’t need another big man. The Washington Wizards select Richard “Rip” Hamilton guard out of Conne….

Stern: You let him go!!! You can’t draft Rip Hamilton or any of the big men because they’re not eligible for the draft. Now be serious.

Ernie G: Ohhhhhh, see you never told me that. The Washington Wizards select Jerry Stackhouse guard out of…

Stern: DAMN IT GRUNFELD!!!!!!!! You can’t draft players your organization already got rid of. Now if you don’t make a real pick this time you will forfeit your pick.

Ernie G: I ain’t McHale, you can’t do that to me.

Stern: Wanna bet?

Ernie G: Fine, fine, fine. With the 18th pick the Washington Wizards select Hilton Armstrong center out of the University of Connecticut. He is the type of big man we need hogging up the lane. Plus his wingspan is like 247 feet! He can block anything! Not to mention how well he can see down the court with his “go-go gadget neck”

Stern: Finally.

Ernie G: hehehe

David Stern: Now that we have that foolishness out of the way, let's get back to the very serious matter of this Draft. Sacramento, you have the 19th pick. Mr. Petrie, it is your turn to make...

(Much commotion as a gaggle of folks walk up the aisleway...)

Joe Maloof: David, I just want to tell you how happy we are that we have a chance to pick a player for the fans of Sacramento, the best fans in the NBA in the best city for fans of the NBA in the best arena in the...

(Colleen Maloof elbows her son hard and whispers in his ear.)

Joe Maloof: Oh, um, actually the arena sucks and we need a few hundred million from those great fans who I know will step up to keep this great team here in Sacramento, the home of the greatest fans in the NBA and...

David Stern: Uhh, Joe, that is all very nice, but is Geoff going to make his pick now?

Gavin Maloof: David, we are going to make a pick, and let me be the first to say how excited the whole family is to choose a player who is really part of our family already. This player will also address our great need for defense and shot blocking in the middle.

Joe Maloof: And I know that the great Kings fans will really fall in love with this player as much as we have over the years. Aw heck, I can't contain myself anymore. We are really happy to draft Yolanda Griffith on to the Kings. Yeah!

Gavin Maloof: We really love that we can keep it all in the family, and feel that the rest of the NBA will come to appreciate the contributions given us by the WNBA as much as we do. Yeah!

David Stern: Uhh... (He is clearly speechless)

Silence fills the hall as Gavin Maloof jumps up onto the podium and raises his arms in victory, concluding with a fist pump. Isiah Thomas throws down his clipboard, clearly dismayed that his thunder has been stolen by the Maloof brothers. David Stern peers over, pleadingly, to Geoff Petrie standing just inside the hallway at the end of the room behind the mock basket they have set up for picture taking...

Petrie sighs, clears his throat and takes a few steps forward...

Geoff Petrie: Uh, Um, what, ah, Gavin and Joe meant, uh, David, is, um, that we would love to be able to have a player with the , um, qualities of Yolanda, um, but realize that the league is perhaps not yet ready to, ah, place a WNBA person into an NBA position.

David Stern: Um, Geoff, could you speak up a little, please?

(Gavin gets down off the podium and walks over, with Joe, to Colleen and each sits down on one of her knees.

She gently comforts her sons.

Geoff Petrie: (Downs a Starbucks Double Shot) Is this better, David?

David Stern: Much.

Geoff Petrie: OK. Well, since Yolanda isn't available to us since she, uh, well, you know, has boobs, we instead will choose a player who has the potential to be an impact player down the line much in the mold of Yolanda. He has the body, length, gigantic wingspan, athleticism and drive of Yo, and simply needs a coach to teach him the finer points of the game. With the 19th pick in the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft, the Sacramento Kings select, Saer Sene, 7' Center of RBC Verviers-Pepinster, International.

(The Maloof Brothers together jump off their mother's lap up onto the podium, pumping their fists...)

Joe and Gavin Maloof:Yeah! Saer is the player the Maloof family wanted all along for the fans of Sacramento, the best fans in the NBA.

David Stern: With the 20th pick of the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft, The NY Knicks select Sergio Rodriguez from Estudiantes Club Madrid. Mr. Thomas can't join us to comment right now because he is busy watching the World Cup.

Isiah Thomas walks out onto the court again and David Stern shakes his head.

Isiah - "Ok, I'm ready to make another pick. We'll take Steve Francis, no no, wait Kenny Thomas, um no wait, Coco Crisp."

Stern - "Um, Coco is a baseball player"

Isiah - "Fine then, Joe Montana, no, Terry Tate"

Stern - "That's football, wait, he's not even a real person, that was a television commercial.... Someone get this guy out of here."

Joe Dumars comes on the stage and walks Isiah off.

Mike D'Antoni walks out tentatively and hands Stern an envelope.

Stern - "With the 21st pick in the Bleachermob 2006 Mock Draft, the Phoenix Suns select Marcus Vinicius from Brazil.

(Over at the ESPN Draft Center)

Rick Majerus - You have to love this pick. Vinicius has upside, lots and lots of upside. Great motor. Huge wingspan. Tremendous upside potential. His side is so up that its just unparalleled upside.

Charles Barkley - Yeah, definite upside. Great length and smoothness, very high ceiling. My detailed analysis says upside, just like the last 20 picks.

Rick Majerus - Upside.

Mike D' Antoni - Uh, yeah guys, upside, apparently you guys did your homework again this year. We love Vinicius because he will give us another all around offensive player. He can shoot, pass, drive, and flat out score. We feel he can ad to our depth as a 2/3 and spend some time letting Raja and Marion play fewer minutes during the regular season. We would love more depth in the frontcour, but did not feel that there was a player worth reaching for at this position when a player of Vinicius' caliber was still available.

Thorn: Well we were gonna pick Aaron Gray with the 22nd pick but he decided to leave the green room and pull himself out of the draft! So I guess we'll take Josh Boone, forward out of Connecticut. He will help replace the average 3254 age of our frontcourt.

Stern: The New Jersey Nets are now on the clock.

Thorn: Umm David I have that pick too. With the 23rd pick The New Jersey Nets select Mardy Collins, guard out of Temple. We think he can be a servicable back-up to J Kidd and Vince Carter. Lord Stern knows we aren't very deep.

one ringy dingy......

JERRY WEST: Who is this?

MIKE FRATELLO: It's Mike. It's our pick, where are you?

WEST: I shot 1 over today and I'm so pissed I went fishing.

FRATELLO: Catch any?

WEST: I can't catch a cold.

WEST: So who does Petrie like?

FRATELLO: Nene's brother Sene.

WEST: Let's pick him.

FRATELLO: Petrie already did.

WEST: Shit, he's always quicker than me.

FRATELLO: We need a guard.

WEST: I used to fish for trout in California and now I'm using chicken livers for catfish. F me.....We have Jackson and Stoudamire. Why do we need a guard?

FRATELLO: Jackson looks down on me and isn't coming back.

WEST: Everyone looks down on you Mike and the first thing they see is that hair.

WEST: What about Damon?

FRATELLO: Face it. Next week he could put in his carry on luggage the Blockbuster Assorted Fireworks package and we'll never see him again.

WEST: Who did Elgin pick?

FRATELLO: No one.

WEST: I've got to move to a small town.

FRATELLO: You already did.

WEST: How about Bobby Brown?

FRATELLO: Okay, he's got a hot wife and can get you all the meds you want.

DAVID STERN: With the 24th pick in the 2006 Bleachermob NBA draft the Memphis Grizzlies pick Bobby Brown from Cal State Fullerton.

WEST: Uh, David, we have just been notified that Bobby "Big Wimp" Brown has pulled out of the draft, so just give us Yotam Halperin instead. Sheesh.

Stern: And now the Cleveland Cavaliers are on the clock…..

Ferry: (Picks up phone and dials)

James: Yea this is Lebron what it do

Ferry: Lebron this is Danny Ferry your GM

James: Whatup D. Ferry where’s my new teammate at?

Ferry: Well Lebron that’s what I was calling about

James: Of course

Ferry: You see Lebron I havent actually been doing anything since last season, and I was hoping that you could go ahead and chose the draft pick fro me, afterall its really your team and not mine

James: You’re darn right it is

Ferry: So what position did have in mind

James: Well since you failed to bring me a true point last off-season lets fill that gap

Ferry: But Lebron we signed Damon Jones to a 3 year deal last off-season

James: (silent)

Ferry: OK OK I catch your drift

James: Grab me a pass fist guard like that kid outta UCLA, I’m sick of these guys taking my shots

Ferry: Thanks Lebron, consider it done, and please let me know if you still need me to pickup your dry cleaning over the summer

James: Danny that goes without saying

Ferry: You got it king

Ferry to Stern: We will take Jordan Farmar out of UCLA

Stern: And the Cleveland Lebrons, I mean Cavaliers select Jordan Farmar out of UCLA

David Stern: With the 26th selection in the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft, The Los Angelos Lakers select Kyle Lowry point guard from Villanova.

Mike D' Antoni strides towards the podium. David Stern nods his head approvingly.

D' Antoni - "Commissioner, we have made our selection."

Stern - "With the 27th pick in the 2006 Bleachermob Mock Draft, the Phoenix Suns select... Jerome James."

D' Antoni - "We just love his inanely huge contract and complete lack of skill. Now I know we'll have to teach him to be more selfish, but with our core, I think..."

Stern - "Mike, you know you can't draft James.."

D' Antoni - "Fine, then we'll take Stephon Marbury. There's nothing like a shoot first point guard who doesn't like to get his teammates involved and has an inanely huge contract. Now I know we'll have to teach him to be less skilled, but with our core, I think...."

Stern - "Wait, something’s wrong..."

D' Antoni - "Fine, we'll take Freddy Adu, Winston Churchill, Barbaroo, Toucan Sam!"

With that D' Antoni rips off his mask and reveals he's really Isiah Thomas in disguise.

Stern - [shakes head disapprovingly, looking like he could cry] "Oh well, at least he gives me less headaches than Mark Cuban."

Isiah - "David, one last pick, can we get Joe?"

Stern - "Joe who?"

Isiah - "Joe Mama" [starts laughing maniacally as Dumars walks him off stage]

D' Antoni comes staggering out slipping ropes off of his hands.

D' Antoni - "Sorry Commissioner, he knocked me out, tied me up and locked me in the back seat of his car after our last pick."

Stern - "How did you escape?"

D' Antoni - "Well, fortunately he owns a convertible. Here’s our real pick.”

Stern – “Alright, with the second 27th pick in the 2006 Bleachermob Mock Draft, the Phoenix Suns select Guillermo Diaz from Miami.”

(Over at the ESPN Draft Center)

Rick Majerus - You have to love this pick. Diaz has upside, lots and lots of upside. Great motor. Huge wingspan. Tremendous upside potential. His side is so up that its just unparalleled upside.

Charles Barkley - Yeah, definite upside. Great length and smoothness, very high ceiling. My detailed analysis says upside, just like the last 26 picks.

Rick Majerus - Upside.

D’ Antoni – Glad to see you guys are doing more than depleting the worlds supply of doughnuts over there.

Majerus – Mmm, yeah, doughnuts is a great food and a great player, definite upside, great pick, heck of a baller.

D’ Antoni – “Well, the reason we like Diaz is that he is another player who can not only fit into our offensive system, but who actually plays good defense. He can still drive, pass, and shoot, but he will give us a quick guard who can spend some time guarding the Tony Parkers, Jason Terrys and Mike Bibbys of the Western Conference. And dare I say it, he also has the most “upside” of any player left in the draft. The one concern with him is that he may be more of a combo guard who lacks the height to play the SG in a traditional system, but our system is anything but traditional and we feel he will be the perfect complement, allowing Barbosa and him to spell Nash and keep him more rested for later in the season. His development will also cover us in case we cannot afford to keep Barbosa past his rookie contract.”

David Stern: With the 28th pick the Dallas Mavs select... Thabo Sefolosha from Angelico Biella. (Bienne, Switzerland)

(The crowd gasps as the rear doors burst open and Mark Cuban runs down the aisle wearing a straight jacket and Hannibal Lector mask...)

Cuban: ...AND YOU ALL ARE BIG CHEATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Stunned silence from the crowd as Cuban is tackled by security and drug from the room as he mutters something about Stern, liver, and Fava beans...)

(Furious MSG crowds chanting: FIRE ISIAH!!! FIRE ISIAH!!! after being forced to watch all the farces played by their president of basketball operation.)

(Meanwhile, in one high-ranked office inside the MSG...)

James Dolan: Is there anyone cared to explain what's going on lately?

Isiah Thomas: It's all in my masterplan, sir.

Dolan: Does that mean losing 59 games in a season after I hired the most expensive head coach in league history also be part of your plan?

Thomas: Well, in a sense, yes. After the Ewing era, the losing records has made Knicks an afterthought to the fans of New York, so it's kind of necessary for us to rebuild the team from bottom-up. Look on the bright side, they can only go up from here!

Dolan: So you mean trading for high-salary underachievers like Steve Francis, Jalen Rose, Eddy Curry and Stephon Marbury will enhance your rebuilding plan?

Thomas: Well, in a sense, yes. The main reason I trade for these high-price *cough* scums, is to build a competitive environment in the players. Meanwhile, we drafted young promising talents like Nate Robinson, Channing Frye, David Lee and Trevor Ariza, and urged them to take the starting positions from our former all-star players. In doing so, we create the tensity and drama inside the team, every game, every practice and every scrimmage would be like a reality show, with players fighting for each other to become the survivor. And as if that is not enough, we hired the best "diva" in the coaching circle - Larry Brown - to add more twist and excitement to the show...

Dolan: Alright, whatever...your theory seems like make sense. So what is the reason you drafted that Sergio guy from Spain when this team has 3 point guards already?

Thomas: I think I see some of the point guard instincts I had in him, like the dribbling technique, speed, court vision and passing ability. I think I could coach him to an elite point guard in this league in a short time. And, Sergio is a high-enterrtaining player who will definitely draw the crowds, and improve our fan bases in Spain.

We can play 3 guards or even 4 guards lineup in the coming new season, since it seems like the strategy better teams like the Spurs or Mavs are utilizing in the playoffs...mind you sir, the east is basically one Shaq injury from wide-open.

Dolan: Well, that is impressive, but then who will we draft in the 29th? i hope your pick will make the fans outside satisfied.

Thomas: I have a surprise pick for everyone. Just wait a sec.

David Stern: With the 29th pick of the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft, the NY Knicks select Joel Freeland from Gran Canaria, UK.

(The crowd responded with hugh boos)

Dolan: So this IS your surprise? a player from England? I thought David Beckham was available.

Thomas: Sir, he is no Beckham, but I can guarantee you he is no Joe Kliene either. This is an extremely raw but athletic 7 footer who has tremendous upside. Joel has only played organized basketball for 3 years but is already an decent interior defender and is also quick enough to play outside, and he is one of the most impressive players in the euro camp recently. Given enough time and patience, you could see another Nowitzki-model player in the NY uniform.

Dolan: Just like Maciej Lampe?

Thomas: Well, I was sorry to see the head coaches didn't give him enough time to develop while he was here.

Dolan: But where can I find a coach who can both improve the records AND cultivate youngsters?

Thomas: That guy could be right standing in front of you, sir...

Stern: Before I announce the final pick of the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft we have a brief announcement. Isiah Thomas has been safely locked away in a rubber room where he can no longer hurt himself, other GMs and especially the chances of the New York Knicks, which I’m told, still have a chance at a winning season in 2009/2010. (The crowd goes wild with Cheers) Now, please settle down or I will have no choice but to release him. (Absolute silence) With the 30th pick in the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft the Portland Trailblazers select, oh crap I thought I was going to get away without having to say this, Kevin Pittsnogle out of West Virginia.

Mike Tirico: We now go live to a special interview with Dick Vitale and Kevin Prichard, Portland Trailblazer director of player personnel.

Dickie V: You got Pittsnogle BABY!!!

Kevin Prichard: Yeah, we are excited he was still available. At 6’10” he is a really impressive shooter and we look forward to him spacing the floor for our very young athletic team. With the possible departure of Joel Przybilla we felt is was important to bring in a big body that was ready to play. We feel we have found that guy.

Dickie V: So with no GM who gets to make the pick? Who was the genius that selected this wonderful kid out of West Virginia?

Kevin Prichard: Well as you may have heard, there were some issues with making our top selection (number 4 overall). I am proud to announce the Blazer management have made yours truly the new GM of the Portland Trailblazers.

Dickie V: Breaking news you heard it right here BABY! So what is going to be your focus this off–season for the Blazers?

Kevin Prichard: Well I would really like to ship Darius Miles off. The guy is a locker room nightmare. But unfortunately I heard Stern say that Isiah Thomas has been locked away, so that could be difficult, maybe I'll give Ainge a call.

Dickie V: I never really liked Darius that much; you gotta go to college BABY!

Mike Tirico: Well that completes the 2006 Bleacher Mob Mock Draft, hope you all enjoyed the show.